It’s been two months since I quit my job to stay home with my kids and strangely I have been feeling very un-mom-like lately. Women seemingly effortlessly care for their own children but it’s evident to me and maybe those closest to me that I am in over my head
A friend was visiting this weekend and commented that I seem more overwhelmed now than I did while I was working. He might be right.
A 27-year old nanny at my son’s gym class was commenting how hard her job was because she was “full-time.” I found out her hours are 9am to 7pm, and I really wanted to tell her she won’t have any idea what fulltime is until she becomes a mom herself.
There hasn’t been a single easy week since I’ve been home. The kids are both fighting colds/allergies and my son developed some rash about a month ago that is inexplicable even to the pediatrician and dermatologist.
My daughter, now 16 months, climbed up on the kitchen counter the other evening and set off our house alarm while I was upstairs in the bathroom with my son who had to go potty and needed help. I couldn’t initially remember the code to shut off the alarm because we haven’t had to use it before so the fire department called.
Once able to get high-level bankers to divulge details on private transactions with little difficulty, I cannot even get my son dressed for the day without chasing him through the house and pinning him down. I can’t help but wonder if I’m really cut out for this fulltime mom thing.
I don’t regret my decision to stay home. The saying goes, “Nothing worth having comes easy,” but there are moments I wish I felt a little more like myself and a little less like the snot-covered exhausted and frustrated woman that I’ve become.