Female relationships are tricky. As a young girl I was the target of what would be known today as bullying, when the cool girls ostracized me and gossiped behind my back all because I danced with the wrong boy. My experience left me alone at the lunch table, but also guarded around women for much of my life.
I generally made friends with males because they weren’t judgmental. After all, there’s no film called Mean Boys.
However, as a mom I find myself in the presence of a lot more females and if I want to make new friends they are likely to be those moms of my children’s peers, and they are often found at the classes my kids attend or the playground.
Trying to form female bonds as we age has proven to be a lot like dating. We want to find like-minded mates who share similar interests, and all the better if our kids could get along. It’s really not that easy though. The consensus from women I’ve encountered is discomfort and frustration in their search, too.
Are we focusing too much on our differences? We probably are more similar than the surface might suggest. We’ve survived sleepless nights, sick kids, tantrums, work-life balance, spousal disputes and family issues. We probably all revel in the hugs and kisses bestowed upon us by our offspring and may all agree that there’s no sweeter sound than the voice of our happy children. These commonalities may serve as a foundation for friendship. Yet, it would be nice to share a glass of wine (or bottle) with someone I’d also like to call my friend.